This is a direct clone of a post on /k/, but it ended up hilarious, so I'll post it here-
Lets play a game:
I'm your average joe who doesn't know much about science or math in general. It's not that I'm stupid, but rather I just never was into learning more about STEM-related topics after highschool. Your goal is to come up with the dumbest, most brain-dead retarded lie you can think of that would sound believable to someone like me that simply doesn't know better.
its real. The human contribution is real. shills will deny this.
you need to go back to /pol
Wyatt Rogers
I'm going to end the pointless foreign wars and make the economy better for average working American families.
Nathan Watson
Dihydrogen monoxide
>Is also called hydroxyl acid, and is the major component of acid rain >Contributes to the "greenhouse effect" >May cause severe burns >Contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape >Accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals >May cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automotive brakes >Has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients
But despite the clear danger, Dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
>As an industrial solvent and coolant >In nuclear power plants >In the production of Styrofoam >As a fire retardant >In the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remain contaminated by this chemical >As in additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food produces.
Contact your congressman NOW to have this dangerous chemical removed from our schools.
Justin Price
Its true becouse epa says so
back to leftypol
Daniel Russell
Actually good. Bravo.
Bentley Brown
I like to fuck with people by telling them that alcohol is lighter than water so it floats up and gets compressed in the neck of a beer bottle, so the first couple drinks actually contain almost half the alcohol
if they protest I can bullshit for days about the polarity of alcohol molecules and mass per unit volume until they just give up
it helps that they're usually drunk anyway
Charles Smith
MRI scans are potentially dangerous because the strong magnetic field may cause the metal-containing molecules like hemoglobin and cytochrome p450 to change their conformation and become ineffective, resulting in anaemia, hypoxemia and compromised liver function.
Daniel Torres
global warming is a hoax
Andrew Thompson
Dude I love this shit I'm going to start spreading this lie as well
Jeremiah Cooper
300k starting
Carson Edwards
>science is fake because im too stupid to understand it
you can go kill yourself now and let the smart people handle the important things.
Anthony Morris
>get phd in actuarial science (basically math) >real 300k starting
Nathaniel Turner
trimming armor
Lincoln Lopez
You can remain anonymous while browsing the Internet through a few easy changes.
Adrian Reed
You can get a GF by just being yourself and being confident in who you are.
Elijah Hernandez
I mean you can... if you lower your standards. But people want 10 out of 10 qts so theres that.
Isaiah Sullivan
you're right. I'm gonna rephrase:
You can get the girl you want by just being yourself and being confident in who you are
Robert Clark
oops i just replied myself instead of (You)
Christopher Stewart
The square root of 4 is +/- 2.
Brandon Kelly
The square root of 4 is +/- 2.
Adrian Reed
Quantum mechanics
Jayden Clark
If you compress metal in vice you actually cause miniature atomic fusion reactions inside the metal as the atoms are forced together. There's no energy released because the metal isn't radioactive, but it forms microcrystals of higher order elements within the metal. The metal can be restored by heating it to a high temperature, at which point the fused atoms undergo fission and split back into the metal atoms; this is how blacksmithing works.
I've also convinced someone that the reason airplanes can't fly in a vacuum is because the wing's shape inverts gravity and gravity is a property of matter.
It's funny as hell honestly. Most of the time people know you're lying, but can't figure out how.
Alexander Nguyen
that is just random bullshit. Most people would just be like whatever, man
It should be about something that somehow affects their everyday life or matters to them in any way
Jeremiah Anderson
Classic
Chase Reed
If you spin a magnet in zero gravity, you can induce an infinite current in coils around it as there are no forces causing it to stop spinning. Infinite AC generator.
Lucas Parker
My teacher told us this meme in 7th grade and I was the only one who noticed. Fucking brainlets
Carter Sanchez
the 4th root of 16 is 2i
Luke Anderson
this is a classic example of why you can't believe all the stupid shit environmentalists complain about.
Jaxson Perry
>floats up and compresses >liquid >manually compressing
I hope the people you are talking to are fucking retarded
Adrian Brooks
$0.02 has been deposited into your account.
Parker Edwards
Because your to dumb to look up some real research?
Lincoln Ramirez
>implying GMO's are inherently bad for you
Andrew Howard
>implying
Jason Roberts
Speed of dark is actually faster than the speed of light -- where ever light goes, it was dark there already.
Adrian Nguyen
Bump
Andrew Reed
actual environmentalists don't give a shit about GMOs (other than the fact that many types allow for more pesticides/herbicides to be used, I guess).
It's the hippies that fear-monger about GMOs.
Brody Martinez
>accepting an empirical truth is inherently leftist kys
Andrew Bailey
thats nice
Christian Johnson
Not only do they allow for more herbicides and pesticides to be used they hand more money over to the agriculture industry and choke out small farmers, incentivizing(subsides weren't enough) large scale monoculture and the horrible ecological and economic consequences that come along with it. The loss of biodiversty in crops and ecosystems is a nail in our coffin.
Isaac Perry
Reddit-tier thread dude
Matthew Price
Let's be real atleast Reddit can censor retards. I rarely use Reddit but it seems preferable to Veeky Forums in terms of decent posters. It's just boring it reminds me of sitting at lunch in public school or something.
Josiah Howard
Scalar energy is the energy of the future and is also known as healing energy. It can help in maintaining the body’s biofield by promoting a positive flow of energy. Scalar energy also restores energy that has been weakened by daily exposure to negative energies such as radiation from mobile phone, television, computer, x-ray, microwave and electrical appliances. This EMF radiation can cause serious harm to your body over a prolonged period of time. The scalar pendant will release negative ions, combatting the positive ions from electrical devices, therefore keeping you safe from EMF.
The Scalar energy in the Scalar pendant does not diminish. In fact, it can help provide human beings consistent energy for a lifetime. Scalar energy is known throughout the world for its medicinal utilities and is now used to treat all manner of ailments. Made of an exclusive mineral based energy permeable LAVA ROCK, with high synergistic properties. It is capable of absorbing heat energy and instantly transforming the energy into a 8-14μ wavelength bio-energy that can promote the molecular activities of water molecules in bodily organs, benefiting the body’s metabolic functions, elevating blood circulatory systems and helping to achieve holistic healthcare functions.
^^Trump shills actually buy this shit.
Noah Stewart
Cast a shadow of your hand against a wall using a flashlight. The further away the wall is from your hand, the larger the shadow of your hand against the wall. You could cast a shadow against a "wall" many lightyears away, and the shadow would be enormous.
If you move your hand from the left edge of the flashlight's light cone to the right edge, the shadow moves from its left edge to the right edge just as fast, even though it's traversing a greater distance. If your shadow is lightyears across, that means the shadow is traveling lightyears in only a second. This can be used for faster-than-light communication, because the speed of dark is faster than the speed of light.
Cameron Kelly
Doubling money.
Anthony Cook
Years ago there was a good one where people were filling plastic bottle of water and leaving them on their lawns to stop dogs from fouling the grass
It became a very common sight, like walk down the street and see at least half the front yards of these places with used soft drink containers full of water scattered over the lawn.
It persisted for years despite the fact it very fucking obviously didn't work.
It was like seeing they had hung up a sign up over their house saying "I am a gullible retard"