ITT : tell me your best joke Veeky Forums

I would, but there's a character limit, you'll have to read it yourself.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. She just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her

A priest, a mullah and a rabbi all walk into a bar. The barman looks up and says "what is this some kinda joke?"

A philosopher walks into a bar, and orders two shots of cheap vodka and a mug of acetone. He pours the shots into the mug, and then drinks it.
"What kinda drink is that?" the bartender asks, horrified.
"Water!" says Hegel, before dying.

can you explain senpai ?

Why did Mishima commit seppuku?

because he wanted to get a-HEAD in life!

Why is television called a medium?

Because rarely is anything well-done.

a rich man and a poor man are friends. they happen to have the same wedding anniversary. so one day they're talking and they ask what the other got his wife for their anniversary.

rich man says, "i got my wife a porsche and a diamond necklace"

poor man says, "why'd you get her that?"

rich man says "so if she doesn't like the diamond necklace, at least she'll be happy taking it back in her porsche. what did you get your wife?"

poor man says, "i got her a pair of slippers and a dildo"

rich man says, "why'd you get her that?"

poor man says, "so if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."

They say that "Pimpin' ain't easy"...but what they won't tell you is that being a prostitute is much much more difficult

Not him, but I think it's a joke about the "absolute mind" and the statement "everything that exists is rational." Not very funny, though.